Hello, Hello. My names Terry and Im a law abider
Theres nothing I like more than getting fired up on beer
And when the weekends here I to exercise my right to get paralytic and fight
Good bloke fairly
But I get well leery when geezers look at me funny
Bounce em round like bunnies
Im likely to cause mischief
Good clean grief you must believe and I aint no thief.
Law abiding and all, all legal.
And who cares about my liver when it feels good
Wwhat you need is some real manhood.
Rasher Rasher Barney and Kasha putting peoples backs up.
Public disorder, Ill give you public disorder.
I down eight pints and run all over the place
Spit in the face of an officer
See if that bothers you cause I never broke a law in my life
Someday Im gonna settle down with a wife
Come on lads lets have another fight
Eh hello. My names Tim and Im a criminal,
In the eyes of society I need to be in jail
For the choice of herbs I inhale.
This aint no wholesale operation
Just a few eighths and some Playstations mys vocation
I pose a threat to the nation
And down the station the police hold no patience
Lets talk space and time
I like to get deep sometimes and think about Einstein
And Carl Jung And old Kung Fu movies I like to see
Pass the hydrator please
Yeah Im floating on thin air.
Going to Amsterdam in the New Year - top gear there
Cause I taker pride in my hobby
Home made bongs using my engineering degree
Dear Leaders, please legalise weed for these reasons.
Like I was saying to him.
I told him: "Top with me and you wont leave."
So I smacked him in the head and downed another Carling
Bada Bada Bing for the lads night.
Mad fight, his faces a sad sight.
Vodka and Snake Bite.
Going on like a right geez, hes a twat,
Shouldnt have looked at me like that.
Anyway Im an upstanding citizen
If a war came along Id be on the front line with em.
Cant stand crime either them hooligans on heroin.
Drugs and criminals those thugs on the penny coloured will be the downfall of society
Ive got all the anger pent up inside of me.
You know I dont see why I should be the criminal
How can something with no recorded fatalities be illegal
And how many deaths are there per year from alcohol
I just completed Gran Tourismo on the hardest setting
We pose no threat on my settee
Ooh the pizzas here will someone let him in please
"We didnt order chicken, Not a problem well pick it out
I doubt they meant to mess us about
After all were all adults not louts."
As I was saying, were friendly peaceful people
Were not the ones out there causing trouble.
We just sit in this hazy bubble with our quarters
Discussing how beautiful Gail Porter is.
MTV, BBC 2, Channel 4 is on until six in the morning.
Then at six in the morning the sun dawns and its my bedtime.
Causing trouble, your stinking rabble
Boys saying Im the lad whos spoiling it
Youre on drugs it really bugs me when people try and tell me Im a thug
Just for getting drunk
I like getting drunk
Cause Im an upstanding citizen
If a war came along Id be on the front line with em.
Now Terry youre repeating yourself
But thats okay drunk people cant help that.
A chemical reaction inside your brain causes you to forget what youre saying.
What. I know exactly what Im saying
Im perfectly sane
You stinking student lameo
Go get a job and stop robbing us of our taxes.
Err, well actually according to research
Government funding for further education pales in insignificance
When compared to how much they spend on repairing
Leery drunk people at the weekend
In casualty wards all over the land.
Why you cheeky little swine come here
Im gonna batter you. Come here.
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